Not enough
by glo.ac.12
Summary: Human AU. Fem!Loki. Maybe Thorki in later chapters. Inspired in Thor tha dark world. Maybe triggers in later chapters. minor character dead. Loki's reaction to Frigga's death.
1. Chapter 1

I firstly apologise of any mistakes or errors of any kind or if something offends you. Also I must add that I am not sure if I will continue this story, so please tell me your opinion.

Disclaimer:I dont own any of the characters.

Chapter 1 (Thor) "Beg for me"

-After all this year's you've finally came to visit me _brother_. –She sneered-For what, to laugh, to mock, or maybe to elevate your ego, your…

-Enough! I came here to your…-I made a pause and look around the room it was…comfortable. -you're _home._

She held her tumbler with whiskey and swallowed the bitter liquid making a disgusted expression. She smashed the tumbler on the floor making it scatter all over it.

-Another! –She said bursting in giggles.

-Sister I came to make a proposal. – I said calmly.

-I decline. –She answered quickly.

-You haven't even heard what I have to say.

She knitted her eyebrows into a frown.

-I decline, I couldn't careless dear _brother_. –She spit the last word. –Now if you excuse me…out. –She pointed to the door.

-Sister…

-I´M NOT YOUR SISTER, YOU BLITHERING IDIOT; NOW OUT. –She roared.

-I need your help. –I tried to reason.

-You must be truly desperate, to come to me for help. But again, I don't care so, OUT.

-Please…

-All mighty Thor Odinson is begging? This is amazing. On your knees and beg if you want my acknowledgement.

I fell on my knees.

-Please-I begged.

-Kiss my heels. –She said.

-Sister…

-Kiss them. –She replied almost kicking me.

I gulped loudly; I look up at her pleading.

-Kiss them or out.

-I…please.

-Out

I swallowed my pride and kiss her heel. Only a second later I felt something collide against my ear making me dizzy. She sat more comfortable on the couch where she was.

-Very well I´ll listen. –She said crossing her legs in a proper manner.

I shook my head in order to recover from the kick. I started to stand on my feet. But her leg made an impact with my shoulder, making me fell in my knees again and wince a little.

-When did I tell you, you could stand again _brother_? –She snarled regaining almost instant composure.

-You've got to be kidding.

-Do I look like I'm kidding? –She asked.

-No but…

-If you don't want to talk… -She gestured to the door.

-No, fine I'll stay kneeling.

-Good choice, now if you may proceed.

-I wanted you to kill someone.

I look into her green orbs, she looked very amused.

-How come?

-I know you are a contract killer and…

-No I understand the part of killing. What I can't process is who, and why would golden boy want someone dead.

I gulped again.

-Sister…mother…she. Oh dear lord how do I tell you this?

-Just spit it Thor, you are getting me really irritated.

-She is…dead…she was…murdered.

Her eyes grew wide, I could see hurt in those bright green orbs, though her face was unchanged.

-How? -The question left her lips as a whisper.

-Someone broke into our house…mother was protecting Paul…

-She died protecting your son?

I nodded.

-Farewell I´ve heard enough…I accept.

-You do?

-Are you deaf?

-No but I didn't thought you would agree.

-I´m bored you big oaf, so it's fine. But I have a request.

-Yeah? What is it?

-You will give me the killing object.

-Very well, any suggestions.

-Oh, please, I can kill with a cracker. I'll give you two days to give me the weapon and the name of the person. Now out.

-But…

-Out.

I stand up and closed the door of her place the next thing I heard was a heart breaking cry from inside.


	2. Chapter 2

I firstly apologise of any mistakes or errors of any kind or if something offends you. Also I must add that I am not sure if I will continue this story, so please tell me your opinion.

Disclaimer:I dont own any of the characters.

Chapter 2 (Loki) "Regret"

A cry ripped from my trout. How did this happen? I would have never imagined it turning out like this. I regret not telling her that she was still a mother to me, that I still loved her that she was still important, that she _is_ still important. Now I need to die to be able to tell her that. But first I will avenge her death and I am going to enjoy myself so much being able to. Still I don't think it will fix a bit and even if I die I am going to go to the depths of hell and rot there for all my stupidity and self-centered attitude, while she is sure in Valhalla. Why her? Why couldn't I have died instead of her? She was nice, gentle, warm, _wanted_ for instance. I on the other hand am a horrible person, egoist, snarky, liar, all by myself, no one wants me I will be better off dead.

I cried like never before, I hugged my knees tightly to my chest, this is stupid I feel stupid and the golden oaf didn't even invited me to the funeral. That means he also lie to me, the fucking dimwit. Didn't he say after I left that I was still part of the family? Well apparently he lied and I am a fool for believing in him.

I stand from the couch I was sitting on and the view of my room was so…depressing. It's not even clean; I drag myself to my room stepping on the shatter glass all over the floor, hearing in crack under my high heels. The first thing I saw was my reflection, I flinch at the sight, I look horrible, my make up was completely ruined, my eyes red and puffy. How much I have cried? It didn't matter, I look so…ugly. Why couldn't I look like them or even like Sif? I look like a cheap hooker right now. No wonder I'm alone and now that mother is dead I have nothing. I kept this on and by that I mean living for maybe someday being able to go back with her or at least working on the relationship we have, make it better. Now my possibilities are crushed, no way in hell I am going to talk with those liars again in my life; especially not Odin, totally not Odin. Maybe Thor and I´m not sure, I mean he is somewhat like my brother and his kid is really nice and sweat, his wife Sif is not that nice but well I´m not either.

Maybe I can try being nice…no I´m supposed to be detestable, just like Odin said I was, no, the way I am. I can do that, it´s in my nature, right being a horrible person inside and out? Why am I even asking? I am a detestable, horrible person that deserves to suffer for eternity. That's what they said and they are totally right.

My cell phone started ringing breaking my intense stare at the mirror. I grabbed my phone from the messy bed, I read the callers id and it said _unknown._ I received the call.

-Loki is it you?

-To whom do I owe the pleasure?

-Oh right, it´s me Thor, um with all that happen I forgot to tell you that mother´s funeral it´s today, well today is the memorial but I thought you would like to be there, the burring of the body is tomorrow.

-Where is it going to be Thor?

-Oh right, if you want you can come to our house at four o´clock and I can take you there.

-Fine, I´ll be there at four.-and with that I hung the cell phone up.

I glanced at the clock on my wall and it read 2:00pm. So I got myself to my closet and took my only black dress that was a strapless dress that finished up like six fingers over my knees, I also got a pair of black high heels, I got my underwear and with that headed to the bathroom. I took an hour long shower, letting the steaming water soak my body, relaxing my muscles. When I finished I got dressed and put make up on. I looked in the mirror once again when I finished dressing up, the dress fitted perfectly, the heels made me look taller, my make up was done perfectly, red lipstick on my mouth contrasting my white flawless skin, black mascara with green shadow on my eye lids, my hair was done in a high pony tail, with a silver broach and a silver necklace with a silver moon necklace with little bright green gems on it. Still I didn't like my reflection.

When I decided that I at least looked decent I got my car keys and drive all the way to their house. I got just on time to the house, I knock on the door and to my horrible luck Odin was the one that open the door, he send me a disappointment look to me.

-Loki…

-Don't start Odin as much as I "enjoy" our little talks I don't love them so if you please not talk to me like, ever I will really appreciate it; so if I may get inside, I am here to see Thor your golden prince so let me pass. -I said.

-Loki I…

-Loki I´m going downstairs in a minute, just seat in the living room for a little. –Screamed Thor from inside.

-See let me in. –I said to Odin.

He just glared at me and let me in. I hummed triumphantly as I got myself into the living room, seated and waited. I shift uncomfortably on my seat, while Odin glared at me with that one eye.

-Would you stop it!

-Stop what?-Asked Thor.

-Nothing is fine. –I replied. – Will you hurry up; I don't want to stay here all day so just hurry it up and by the way where are Sif and Paul.

With that he visibly stiffened.

-Paul is upstairs and Sif…she, she died the same day and way mother did.

-Oh…I´m sorry. –I mumbled feeling bad about it.

-It's okay, you didn't know.

-Can I help you with your son? –I asked.

-Sure, he is upstairs in your old room.

I nodded and got upstairs. I knocked on the kid´s room before opening the door. Paul was sitting on his bed holding a photo frame in his little 8 year old hands.

-Hey little guy. –I said waving my hand.

-Aunt Loki what are you doing here? –He asked.

-Sweetie we have been over this, I´m not your aunt. –I said and his face fell a little. –But we can be friends, right? –I sat next to him.

-I´ll like that. –He whispered and I smiled at him.

-How are you feeling?

-Will mommy come back?

-No, I am afraid she won't neither is grandma, but you know they are in a better place, they must, they were good women, remarkable. –_not like me_ I finished in my head.

-I miss her, a lot.

-I know honey; if you want I can tell you a story.

He only nodded.

-Once upon a time there was a little girl, she was timid and shy. But she was cheerful around the people she knew, with the people she thought were family. She loved them so much. She also thought the world was kind and pink filled with rainbows and butterflies. But she grew up and noticed she was different, she was not wanted. Her parents were not that warm to her while she grew up; she wasn't what they wanted her to be. She also learned that the world was cruel to her; she didn't have friends, so she stood with her family. Until she realized that "her" family wasn't her family. So she went away, but she still had hope that her adoptive mother will accept her back. But that day will never come.

-Why not?

-´Cause she can't it's impossible.

-Why?

-´Cause her mom is gone. -I said sniffing.

-Why are you crying?

-What?

-You are crying, why?

I touched my cheeks and they were wet.

-I´m crying for your mother and my mother.

-It will be fine. –Paul said giving me a hug. –Daddy said it's going to be all right.

I smiled sadly and hugged back.

-It will be fine indeed, it will be, and it has to be fine again.

-It will. –Paul replied hugging me harder.


	3. Chapter 3

I firstly apologise of any mistakes or errors of any kind or if something offends you. Also I must add that I am not sure if I will continue this story, so please tell me your opinion.

Disclaimer:I dont own any of the characters.

Chapter 3 (Thor)

I was listening to their conversation from behind the door. Not that I _don't_ believe in her is that I don't believe in her words.

-Don't tell your father nothing, about what I just said or did please.-She said.

Now that hurt, she is always so reserved and now she opens to my eight year old son in less than ten minutes. Never had she opened to me like that not in our 24 years together. Well she was way different back then, it all changed when she reached puberty I guess. Though I haven't seen her cry since she was 4 or 5 years old or it could be the last time she came to me because of a nightmare had plagued her dreams; since I told her to stop bothering. Now I feel bad, she obviously has been suffering all this time and I was too blind to see it, damn it Sif was right I can be such a daft sometimes.

-I won't that's why we are friends.

-Thank you hon, now how about we go with your father to your mother and grandmothers memorial.

-I don't want to go.

-Why is that?

-If I go I will never see her again, she will be gone.

-That's not true, once a wise man told me that a person stays alive in the memories and actions they did to others. She is still with you guarding you. Just come to the memorial and give closure to this bizarre episode and make them rest in peace.

-But I don't want to.

-Please I need you there, I can't go there and say goodbye to my mother without by only friend.

-Am I your only friend?

-Yes sweetheart, you know people always said I will die all alone now I see that's not true cause now I have a wonderful little friend with me. So will you go with us and support me?

-I guess.

-I appreciate it now hon let´s go.

As the steps grew closer I got a little far from the door.

-Ready to go? –I asked trying to cover up that I just have been listening to the conversation. –Paul can you go with Grandpa Odin and prepare everything that's needed?

-Sure dad.-He said going downstairs.

-You amaze me Thor, listening to other people conversations is not a moral thing to do. Considering that you are mister morality it amaze me.

-I did it…

-Oh, I know why you did it you don't trust me and if I were you I will not trust me either, just shut up because if you say a single word of what you heard I will kill you.

-Fine but why didn't you tell me you were feeling that way? We are family after all.

-No we are not, I don't have family Thor I am by myself I've always been so don't you dare say you are my family because you were there and not even once you asked me if I was fine so just shut the fuck up and leave me alone after the last one job you will never see me again so just act like nothing's wrong just like you always do, put that stupid smile on and ignore it like always.

-Loki…

-No! Just shut up and we will go to the memorial, then to the funeral, without fighting just because Frigga will have wanted that. After that well after you give me the name and the weapon you'll never see me again I swear so just shut it. –She said going downstairs.

-Loki! Stop we need to talk!

-Shut up or I'll go right now. –She answered.

-Fine.

-We need to go then. You guide Ill follow you.

I sigh and pinched the bridge of my nose and got outside seeing Odin already in the car and my son outside.

-I want to go with my friend dad.

-But son…

-Please.

-Fine.

He got in Loki´s car as soon as she unlocked the car door. She smirked and got inside her car; I got in mine and started driving. It didn't take long to get there. The place was grim and the corpse were exposed on their coffins I really didn't like it here it was so sad seeing my mother and my beloved laying there cold unmoving, dead. Loki disappeared from my sight. I was a little bit worried, so I started to search not really wanting to stay inside with all those people apologizing to me like they were culprits somehow. So I started looking for Loki, when I stepped outside the building and saw Loki smoking outside. I was about to approach her but I was interrupted.

-What the hell are you doing here? –Jane half-shouted at Loki.

-Smoking. –Loki replied matter of fact.

-Don't be a smartass I mean why are you here?

Loki shrugged throwing the cigarette to the floor and stepping on it.

-Seeing around.

-You shouldn't be here.

-You neither but you're here aren't you.

-I'm here for Thor.

-And I'm here because I want to so fuck off.

-You don't tell me what to do.

-Neither do you so leave me alone.

-Just go and I'll leave. –Jane replied pulling Loki by her arm.

-Don't touch me. –She glared at her hand.

-What if I don't?

-Then don't say I didn't warn you.

-What are you talking…?

Jane was interrupted by Loki punching her in the face pretty hard, making her fall.

I came near then, into view.

-Thor she attacked me. –Jane cried.

-You liar I did warned you. –Loki replied.

-You are the one that lies so, why should anyone believe you? –Jane asked.

-Because I saw what happened and I believe her. –I replied.

-You can't be serious.

-Know what Thor its fine I'll go call me later for that unfinished business we have.

-No Loki I think you should stay. Jane you should go.

They both seemed shocked by my words. Jane just stood up indignantly and left Loki had lighted up another cigarette.

-Want one? –She offered.

I took one, put it on my mouth and she lighted it up.

-Thanks. –I mumbled.

And an uncomfortable silence was created.

-So nice weather. –I said trying to make a conversation.

-Save it.

I just nodded.

-Loki I…

-Just shut up Thor.

-What if I don't want to shut up?

-As easy as I will not listen to you.

-But you will Loki, you're no deaf.

-That may be true but I don't mind leaving as soon as you start talking.

-Stop lying Loki I know you won't leave, I'm not that easy to deceive.

-But you are Thor you've always been.

-I've changed.

-I bet you did.

-You changed to.

-Yeah I did, I like to think it was for good.

-Well I don't want to know what it will have been if it was for bad.

-You truly don't, Thor. –She answers in a matter of fact tone.

The rest of the memorial goes peacefully with some attempts of Odin trying to talk to Loki, which Loki shut down as fast as he opened his mouth glaring at him after; Paul only sat quietly besides Loki as everything came through, people trying to talk to her with her answering sarcastically or mockingly. She was so confusing; I don't know if she was sad, happy, or angry? Hell I don't know.


End file.
